Week 10 -Let's just skip to the end of the week when Lino goes missing for 3hrs!

What a week...it was heading towards a good week with my bday and preparations for Shaun's bday celebrations at school but by the time we get to Friday it was no longer good...it was down right terrifying then it was infuriating!  So lets just skip right to Friday...

Friday I had my 2nd day of PMI Symposium and I was really trying to make some connections and some contacts for Aspira.  The day was actually filled with pretty good speakers even though my first session I had to leave 5min in because the guy was not as interesting as I was hoping but overall it was good.  I was suppose to meet up with one guy at lunch but he was always busy so I said I would do it at the end.  Sometime just before the last 2 sessions I get an email from Lino's teacher talking about how he sprayed bug spray in a girls eye...great...good job Lino.  They are out on a field trip today to some Halal Garden picking vegetables (part of the open minds field trips).  Lino has had a bad week at school already...not getting very many stars most days so he has been on the edge of destruction all week.  The last presenter for the symposium was the one and only GPS Girl!!!  I was pretty excited about that...I thought it was a joke at first but it really was her.  She came in giving directions and it was so freaky.  I didn't even know she was a public speaker but she is and a singer...well a singer first then the voice of the GPS then a public speaker.  She was pretty good...from a small town in Australia, moved to Sydney to develop her singing career but she always wanted to move to NY and sing so she eventually did that (left a very successful career in Australia apparently to make it big in the USA), and while performing in various gigs around NY her agent sent her the job notice for an Australian female living in NY to do navigation voice overs and she applied and got it right on the spot.  So cool!!!  So anyway about 1/2 way through her presentation I get a text from our new helper saying that she can't find Lino.  This was at 4:10pm and school ends at 3:30pm for Lino...so its been almost 45min and I'm just getting notified.  I was pretty annoyed but not worried at this point.  I gave some directions and texted Mike to let him know because he was closer to the school than I was...just in case and also to vent.  I go back into the room and figure I would get a text shortly saying they found Lino.  About 20min later no text so I start texting back and forth trying to figure out the situation.  Basically Lino is not where he is suppose to be so now its a little bit of a game of hide and seek.  After 10min of this I decide to call the school to let them know that she is having trouble navigating the school.  I talk to the lady at the main desk and she said she has given some instructions to the helper and she should be able to find him soon.  I give Mike a call at this point because its past 4:45 and that is just to long...so he orders a taxi and tells me to call some of the friends in his class to see if someone took him home.  I told him that is ridiculous because 1) I'm not friendly with anyone at the school like that, 2) they don't know where I live and 3) what parent would take a kid home and not inform or ask the parent first...no not possible.  I then get a call from the school and they tell me the vice principal wants to talk to me so we talk for a minute and she seems pretty calm so I'm calm and we discuss a plan to 'find him'.  At this point I'm thinking he must be in the playground or he might have even fell asleep in the library because him & Shaun were up late the night before messing around.  So now there are like 4 people looking for him and Mike trying to get a taxi there.  Around 5:20pm Mike makes it to the school and joins the search. I just knew that he would find Lino right away because hes dad and Lino is just messing around...he is just trying to get in big trouble and he is succeeding!  But after 15min Mike can't find him and he is starting to panic.  I am starting to panic too and so I just leave my conference and try to get a taxi which is not easy.  I was at the Marina Bay Sands and it was 5:30pm on a Friday evening...the taxi que was ridiculously long and when I tried to schedule a taxi no one wanted to pick my fare because it was going out to the west coast and most drivers want to stay around central Singapore that time of day.  But finally I get a taxi and apparently I booked the taxi to pick up across the street at the hotel not the conference center.  I try to talk to the driver (I called him) and he said he was coming across the street to get me but then after he hung up he canceled my fare.  So I had to book another one which took another 7min to get there.  All this time I am passing up and down trying to figure out what happen?  I had talked to the VP again and was asking about Lino being in the pick-up room and she wasn't sure if he was in there or not so I told her to check that and see if the ladies in the room remember who he left with or if he was even in there in the first place.  Then I told her to check the security cameras because they have them and used them to determine who 'vandalized' the principals office so surely they can use the cameras to find a child that's gone missing too.  Mike had an idea to go to the train station to see if he went there but I told him that was not a likely scenario because Lino has never gone on the train by his self and I just couldn't see him leaving for no reason.  Mike said the VP asked the security guards at the exit if they remember seeing Lino leave and they said no but I'm not sure if it is possible for them to remember him specifically or not.  I mean they say hi to him every day but I don't think they know his name.  So he was going to check this out just to be sure and I was coming to the school to do the mommy search just to be sure they checked everything.  By the time I got into the taxi it was pass 6pm and I had been pretty calm the whole time.  I just knew it was my Lino just messing around and he was just doing something in the school somewhere that we couldn't find him.  I didn't really think he was missing so no reason to panic...just kids being kids right????   So in the taxi I think about Lino's book bag...was it left in the classroom or in the pick-up room or is it gone?  I call Mike and apparently he got an update from the school that Lino did go to the pick-up room (at least 1 of the 2 teachers remembers him) and apparently he told the teacher he was going to the toilet and left and that was the last they remember seeing him.  So now I'm starting to panic.  Mike is almost to the train station and we only know he was in the pick-up class but then he had to go pee and never came back.  That sounds way to not good for me to stay calm.  I had to call Mike back because I forgot to ask about the book bag and he said the book bag was gone too so Lino took it with him.  Then he ask me again about a parent taking him home and I just ignore it.  I hang up and have a mild panic attack in the taxi!  I had told the driver when he picked me up that my son was missing and I needed to get to the school as quickly as possible but I don't think he was prepared for my reaction because I had been so cool up to that point.  But for some reason the book bag being gone too freaked me out.  Looking back on it the book bag being left in the classroom would have been even scarier but for whatever reason that was the trigger to que instant panic!  So I'm hyperventilating in the taxi...the driver is trying to drive (quickly I noticed) and get me a tissue.  In between histeric breaths I tell him its fine...I'm fine...everything is fine...Lino is fine...I don't need a tissue...I'm fine (repeat about 10 times).  I was somehow able to actually calm down and thankfully I did because Mike called me just at that moment and said the people at the MRT station let Lino onto the train...they knew him by name apparently because Lino told them his name and said he didn't have any money for the train but needed to go to Queenstown station to get home!!!!!  WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!  Thank God...he went to the MRT station so that means he is probably OK...thank God!  But why the hell did he go to the MRT station by his self?  And its been almost 3hrs so where the hell is he now?  I know Singapore is super safe which is all great and everything but it was still a long time for him to be missing.  And the transit to our condo is a good 45min trek consisting of a walk from the school to MRT, 16min on MRT, wait for the bus which is usually another 10min, then bus to the condo.  I know he knows the way but sometimes he gets distracted and forgets when its time to get off.  How the hell would he get onto the bus without his MRT card?  So many questions but at least there was a sighting of him and we knew he wasn't in the school or that someone took him from the school.  So Mike says he is going to take the train to the house and check to make sure he doesn't see Lino at any station.  I am to make a detour to the condo instead of going to the school and call the school to give them the update that he isn't at the school.  So even though I am not full on panicking I am on hyper-drive of emotions.  The driver obviously heard the conversation (I was in the front seat) and when I told him to go to my condo he didn't seem to mind the detour.  It took me a minute to explain where I live...not because he didn't know the condo but because I was sobbing at this point and barely speaking recognizable English but eventually he figured out what I was saying.  Then I called the school to give them the update of Lino's last known location and tell them I'll call them once I get to the condo.  All I could do after that was pray that he was at the condo.  I don't know how he would have got there or how he would have got to the apartment without key or what he would be doing or how I would find him but I just prayed he would just be there.  When we get there I basically throw money at the driver (I gave him the fare price and extra I am pretty sure) and I rush to the apartment...but before I even get to our building I think I should go to the skate park where he usually plays with the other kids just to see if he is there...just in case.  And not even 2 sec after the thought came into my head I turn the corner and come face to face with Lino!!!!  My heart jumped out of my body.  I was so happy and angry at the same time (mostly happy).  When I first saw him he was smiling and on some other kids scooter...but as soon as he saw me all the blood drained from his face and he stopped smiling.  I was all puffy face and wet with tears (he has never seen me like this) and I just ran up to him and hugged him.  I couldn't believe he was there.  It was 6:30pm (almost exactly) and we finally found him!  I told him to get his stuff and lets go and he told me his book bag was already upstairs...then I realized that his bike was on the side of the skate park.  I asked him how the heck did you get your bike (because he needs a key card to go up to our level and he didn't have one)...he said he walked up 17 flights of stairs to our level, tried to call us because he thought we were home and had left him, once he realized we weren't there he left his book bag and took his bike down to play with his friends (took the elevator down).  WTF!  Geeze kid you seriously gave me a heart attack.  So I had to call Mike first to let him know he did take the train and bus all the way home...he was relived but baffled by why he did it (me too), then I called the school and they had called the police at that point so they had to call the police station to call of the missing child report.  It was a little complicated to do because I guess you can't just say a child is missing then 45min later say 'oops sorry he just went home on the public transportation by his self and he is home same now'.  It wasn't overly difficult either but it did take some discussion before the police closed the report.  The VP was happy to hear that he was at home but she was not happy about the fact that he left without telling anyone and that we had to put out a search & rescue squad trying to find him (I agree with her 100%).  She said that she is going to have to have a serious talk with Lino after the break which I told her to make sure its more than serious because this can not happen again...obviously.  She was asking me a few questions too which I had no answers to and eventually let me go.  I don't think that will be the end of that discussion but I am thankful for the break for now.  So we get to the apartment and I just send Lino to his room.  I needed a minute to calm down my emotions.  Then I go into his room to talk to him and I could barely talk through the tears.  I told him how scared I was that something had happen to him, that he could be dead if this was any other city (probably not Ireland...there I would have had to worry about someone actually picking him up and taking him home because that is just what people do there...but if it was a friend they would have called me for sure).  I went through all these things and he just nodded because I think he knew he was wrong...well he better know he was wrong.  I left him in his room because I knew there wasn't much more I could say...I went to my room and cried some more.  A few minutes later here comes Lino and another round of snots ensue...he was sweet enough to hug me tight and try to console me which was very unexpected.  I had to tell him again how disappointed I was that he would do something like that and not let us know where he was.  Not to long after that Mike gets there and gives him the 3rd degree too.  We were both so stressed about the situation all we could express was sadness.  Maybe that was the best response because just being upset probably wouldn't have had the same impact on him because he sees us upset all the time.

So the summary of the whole situation was that...the person who was picking up Lino for us was late because Shaun convinced her to let him play in his classroom with his friends after she picked him up.  So when they went to Lino's class he wasn't there.  She didn't know where the pick-up room was because I didn't show her (I forgot to show her) so they looked for Lino at the playground where he was the previous day but he wasn't there.  So Lino did go to the pick-up room and waited for them to pick him up but apparently thought it was taking to long so decided to go looking for them his self.  He said he didn't see them and didn't know what to do so thought that they forgot him and went home without him so he decided to go home.  He knew he didn't have his MRT card so when he got to the station he told them his name and said he didn't have any money but needed to get to the Queenstown station to get home.  They asked him if he knew the way and he said yes so the person at the station called ahead to the Queenstown station and told the attendant there that a kid was coming who didn't have an MRT card and was trying to get home.  She didn't say kid she said Lino because he told her his name.  So he gets to the station and they let him out and he goes to the bus stop to wait for the bus to the condo.  He gets on the bus without tapping in...probably because that bus is usually pretty busy so it is easy to get on without tapping in and he is small so they might have thought he was under the age limit to pay anyway so no reason bothering him.  He gets home and tries to call up to the apartment from the lobby but of course no one is at home so he decides to walk up the stairs to the apartment...17 flights of stairs with his book bag.  Drops his book bag at the door and gets his bike.  He said he thought he would just wait for us outside.  I asked him why he left school and not because he was lost and he said "I knew I could get home so I did"....so I'm thinking well...hell...that's good but don't freakin ever do that again!!!!

Man...that was the scariest 2hrs of my life.  I am so thankful that this happen in Singapore because if we were in the US I would not have been so calm after 2hrs of not knowing where he was.  I am also very proud that he was able to navigate through the system without any issues or money and make it home safely.  That shows how independent and responsible he can be if he wants to be.  I am very thankful for that but I also want him to realize that he can't go leave school without telling someone.  I told him he has to tell the school if he thinks we forgot him...he can't just leave.  And that goes for any place...don't just leave...find the security and tell them you are lost.  And for goodness sake done leave the pick-up room if we haven't picked you up...the teachers will make sure you are looked after if your parents are late...its not up to you to find us!!!!  So this line of discussion goes on the rest of the night.  Mike and I have a few drinks to calm our nerves and we are just dumbfounded as to what to do next.  These kids constantly are keeping us on our toes and sometimes they really make us question our parenting abilities.  What a scary situation....we are so thankful that he is ok...just to independent and to determined...too much like his damn parents!!!!!

While that was the highlight of the week there were other events that I must document for my records...

Monday after school Shaun and I made cupcakes for his birthday.  A few of the kids at the school have brought in cupcakes to celebrate their birthdays so he wanted to do the same.  Since next week is Easter break I told him to bring the cupcakes in this week.  He loves baking and isn't a bad helper either...he is really good about licking the bowl clean which is a special treat for the birthday person.  I actually cheated with these cakes...the first time in almost 5 years!  I bought 2 box cake mixes and searched high and low for cake frosting which I finally found for like $6.  I am just not brave enough to attempt a cake here and I have no idea why.  I think I am worried about the amount of time and mess making a cake in-tells.  I am not sure how to completely manage the ants yet either so it makes me pretty hesitant.  He was pretty happy to make the box mix this time so hopefully that is good enough.  Tuesday was my bday and the boys got me a nice gift card to the spa...I wish I had time this week to go but I don't so I have to save it for later.  When Mike came home from work he had a cake for me which was very sweet of him but the cake was awful!!!!  It was a sponge cake with whipped icing...2 things I do not like at all and the only thing that could have made it worse is if it was chocolate but he knew I didn't like chocolate so there was no chance of that.  I did feel bad for him that he went out of his way to get me a cake that I took one bite of and couldn't finish.  It didn't help that I was on a no-carb day either so I really didn't want to waste my carbs on a cake that I needed to choke down with a huge glass of milk.  Wednesday after school Shaun & I frosted the cup cakes...I tried to make some little design and I am pretty sure I wasn't successful but it looked better than just knifing the icing on.  I also got registered from the Singapore chapter of PMI yearly symposium.  Its a 2 day event that is great for networking and getting updated on some of the current issues in PMI.  Of course I waited until the last minute to register because it was so expensive that I was hesitant to pay the money for it but I finally did.  That meant that on Thursday & Friday Mike was going to be in charge of drop off and pick-up for the boys.  He almost forgot but didn't let me down which is great...the boys were pretty excited for daddy to do the daily school run so that was nice. 

The first day of the symposium was a little long...when I got there I saw a guy that I had met at the first networking event that I went to.  He remembered my name right away and I couldn't remember his for the life of me so I had to look him up when the session started so that I could stop being an idiot.  The first speaker was really really good and interesting.  He was the head of innovation at DBS bank but he was no department head in personality...he was more like a surfer dude working at the white house.  I mean not that extreme but kind of...he was so not a suit & tie kind of guy and he was talking about his side venture to build 2 hotels in the Sumatran rain forest to help save the Sumatran orangutans.  What does that have to do with innovation at DBS????  Well he used his experience building a hotel to implement a lot of cool initiatives at DBS...very interesting.  The rest of the speakers didn't even get close to him which was unfortunate but I guess kind of a strategy too...start out with a bang!  During the event I did realize that I needed to get myself some business cards because that is the thing to do here...pass your card and connect (immediately) on LinkedIn.  I got some advice from one of the SPMI coordinators to just create a business card on-line and email or text it to the contacts that I meet....very good idea.  So that is what I did when I got home.  The boys had an average day at school and Mike was super stressed at the end of his day with them as I normally am.  Friday...well you know what happen Friday.  

For this weekend we had 2 invitations to 2 different Easter events.  Crazy!  How can we have 2 at almost the same time.  I had planned to go to one but then changed my mind on Saturday and decided to go to the other event that I had only been invited to the day before.  Before that though we checked out a new cafe called The Playground near to the school.  It was pretty nice but not close enough to the school to really be a regular spot but maybe it could.  It was in a nice community center and close to a wet market & hawker center. That evening we went down to East Coast park and got completely lost trying to find the BBQ pits for the party...we ran into 2 other families who were looking for the same party as us so we were all lost together.  Eventually we found it and the boys found the beach!  I must say at that moment I really did miss Ireland because this 'beach' was not a beach based on the standards that Ireland set for me.  The boys didn't seem to notice too much and since the water was warm I think they were even more excited about it.  I think they stayed in the water for a good 1.5hrs before we were able to convince them to come out and eat something.  They had a good time and we enjoyed the event too.  It was an African event and I was a little nervous even before we got there because I could tell by the names on the RSVP list that it was an African event but the lady who invited me didn't say that...tricky tricky.  When we introduced ourselves as from the US most of them asked how did I find out about the group and what made me come (not in a bad way more curious than anything which I was feeling the same way).  Other than one guy trying to convince us to join their church it was actually a pretty fun and the food was so good!!!!!  I didn't know what to bring so I only brought warm beer (I didn't have time to shop after my Friday fiasco) and I am glad I didn't because this African/Caribbean selection was so good I would have messed it up with my American offerings.  So glad I got to meet some new people but also a little sad that I didn't go to the other party because I am starting to really get to know some of the people there too...oh well...I guess I have to spread myself around for a while before something sticks.  Sunday was relax day for the most part. 

Mike wanted to go out for birthday dinner but Shaun has swimming lessons in the early evening so we decided to go for lunch at a Korean BBQ place instead.  Before that Mike & I spent like 3hrs discussing our up coming trip to Japan and we completely changed the itinerary around.  We didn't have all the details changed but we had a new plan in our heads that we had to put into action after the boys went to bed.  The Korean BBQ place was in the middle of now where, Dimpsey area, and it looked pretty fancy...it wasn't that fancy and there were not a lot of people either but the food was good.  Shaun enjoyed the Korean pancakes the most but also wanted to help the guy cook the meat so he gave Shaun his own pair of tongs so that he could cook.  It was fun and good...next time I want to go to a place not so fancy and just pig out! 

For dinner we went back to the barracks just by the house and ate at The Handlebar which was pretty cool.  Then we had ice cream at this fancy little creamery that had really really amazing ice cream.  The boys were super lucky because we let them get a full scoop each...right before bedtime!  Talk about living on the edge as parents!  That evening we sorted out our vacation itinerary which was great.  Mike & I can't wait to go to Japan and see the Cherry Blossoms and eat food (sushi) and just have this great experience!!!!  I'm looking forward to my next blog...